EP. 74: The Thrill, Grief, & Healing in Coming Out at 30 w/ Uyai Ikpe-Etim (she/her)
Oct 28, 2026
On today's episode we have writer, filmmaker, storyteller, Uyaiedu Ikpe-Etim (she/her).
I discovered Uyai after being sent what she's sharing and writing about on Instagram which is all about Second Adolescence, and being a lesbian who came out in her 30s.
In this conversation, Uyai so openly takes us back before all of this writing to who she was growing up and how growing up in a strict religious context shaped her relationship to sexuality and identity, how it led her to reject queerness, and how she married a man under the earnest belief in her heterosexuality. And then, what her process was of discovering and making sense of her true identity and deconstructing the walls that were around it.
She shares so much that speaks to what it means to be in and navigate a Second Adolescence, everything from the thrill and overwhelm of being inexperienced and having new romantic and sexual experiences, to grieving for the lesbian teen she never got to be, and so much more. I so so so loved getting to talk with Uyai and be witness to her story, and I'm so moved she's offering it all for you as well.
About the guest:
Uyaiedu Ikpe-Etim is a queer filmmaker and writer. She wrote and directed Ifé (watch here on YouTube), wrote and co-directed 14 Years and a Day, and wrote Unburied. She lives in Toronto with her partner and spends much of her time writing on Instagram about discovering one’s sexuality later in life, queer identity, love, and the sometimes messy experience of coming into yourself as an adult.
She currently writes on Instagram but promises to make her way to Substack soon (she really does promise!).
Instagram: @uyaiedu
Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/uyaiedu